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    « Bunnies, more spiders, and huge bazongas: Random Tuesday Thoughts | Main | Happy Good Friday Fill-ins! »

    Probably the one and only post where I talk about my uterus. You've been warned.

    I've been a little distracted lately, not really blogging angst but I'm having a hard time coming up with things to post. Mostly because I'm thinking about just this ONE thing.

    I've had some issues with the, uh, plumbing for a few months. Things are not, shall we say, regular.

    Oh, fuck it. I haven't had a period since January. There.

    (Apologies to my two male readers. Hi Captain! Hi Cameron! You're allowed to go watch the game now, have a beer and ignore the rest of this post. Although, you're both parents so you must have SOME idea of how this works).

    I've also had some weird hot flashes and various other goings-on, so at my physical this week I mentioned all this to my doctor. And she decided to test me for a) premature menopause and b) polycystic ovarian syndrome.

    Yeah. Sounds fun, right? Both of those present problems, should I ever want to provide my son with a sibling.

    I said, "Um," and my doctor said (in an annoyingly cheerful, I'm-done-having-all-my-children kind of way) "Good thing you guys are done, right? Aren't you done?"

    And in that instant, months of waffling and humming and gawd-do-I-never-want-to-be-pregnant-again turned into OMG I TOTALLY WANT ANOTHER BABY YOU CAN'T TELL ME I CAN'T XANDER NEEDS A LITTLE BROTHER WAAAAAHHHH!!

    I managed to not say that though. I said, weakly, "Um, we weren't sure." But I sure as hell am now.

    I cried in the car and then went home and hugged the son I'm lucky enough to have already fiercely, and then I presented my case to Paul. He's been spending the same months voicing vague arguments such as, "Can we afford another one?", and " I don't know. We just started getting some sleep."

    I cried on his shoulder about my potential barrenness, and sudden and overwhelming urge to have another baby and he said, "Sure, let's have another one."

    "Really? But you never seem like you think it's a good idea."

    "I've been talking myself into it for a few months," he replied. "You're just never there for the conversations."

    Hm. Well, then. Whatever the testing verdict comes back as, I guess we're giving this a shot. So to speak.

    Reader Comments (54)

    Please keep us posted on everything...well, except maybe the gory parts. ;) Is there any possibility that it might be something 'good' vs. the other two options? You know, like is it possible you might already be pregnant? I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    On another note - Happy Easter! :)

    You people are only lending fuel to the fire of my biological clock, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT???!! All these bellies around me...then there will be all these babies around me....and all I'll hear is "tick, tick, tick".
    Damn it!!!

    Alright, now that I got that out of my be careful and take it easy on yourself and I will be over here, in my little end of the world, pulling for you and hoping and wishin' and sending joojoo and all that other stuff that I'm supposed to be doing to pull my mental good vibe end of the bargain. Keep us posted.
    (pssst...and if you don't want to tell them, you still have to tell me. 'cause I said.)

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSherendipity

    Hope all goes well. We are finished having kids -- I had to have surgery last year and that was the end of that! So I know how you feel I did want another but this is what God had in his plans for me!

    Thanks for sharing and I will be praying for you!

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnissa

    Everything Stacy said, but toss in the gore. I can handle it.
    Is there room for one more in your boat? I have life preservers. Oh, wait. The point is not to have those... Do you like wine? I have wine.

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSprite's Keeper

    I am hoping that for you its the latter of the two. I have PCOS and I have 2 children. One was born before I knew I had it and the 2nd was born 2 years after I found out and had been on medication for it. It is possible to have babies with PCOS. Good luck to you.

    ps I don't comment on here alot, ok ever I think this might be my first time but I read your blog all the time

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZonie Mama

    Warning!! Caution!! Beware!!

    I must inform you - it would appear that getting pregnant is simpler the second time around. All I have to do is look at my wife now and she's pregnant.

    I hope everything turns out how you want it, Xander would be a cool older brother.

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCameron

    You'll get pregnant again in no time and then will get all bitchy and fat and then I'll have a partner in my fat person pitty party again. It's really all about me, you know.

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFoN

    My first thought was... what if you already are? I am assuming that YOU, said comforting doctors and possibly your mom all made you take some p-tests.

    Either way, the decision is exciting. My fingers are crossed.

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCDB

    Oh, I hope this turn out well for you. It's ironic how sometimes it takes the threat of something permanent to galvanize our desires. I have faith that you'll persevere. Stay strong :)

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathy B!

    Other male reader.

    Exactly what Cameron said. It took us three years to get pregnant with our first. Second? I think we accidentally used the same toothbrush.

    *psst* If things don't work out, you can have my youngest. He keeps telling me he hates me so it'll all work out.

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaptain Dumbass

    I know it's easier said than done, but try not to stress about it until you know for sure what the outcome is. You are blessed with one child already and that's more than many people can say. Don't let the worry bug of not knowing whether or not you can have a second drive you nuts.

    Keep us posted.
    I'll be sending all my good thoughts to you from over here.

    April 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergigidiaz

    I thought I wanted another one today. For about 5 seconds. My dh reminded me that I hate being pregnant (1st c-section caused horrific pain with 2nd preg... and bitchiness...and swollen ankles... and hating sex... and peeing incessantly... and not sleeping for the last 3-5 months because I can't sleep on my stomach... and being hot ALL the time...) Not to mention the surgery. The lack of sleep (Baby 1 deceived us and slept through the night at 4 weeks. Baby 2 didn't sleep through the night until 8 MONTHS and still doesn't make it through every night) Buying formula cuz I can't breastfeed. Buying diapers for two kids. Dammit. Does anyone want two kids??? kidding of course, I think.

    Then of course we got home from church today and my oldest OD'd on Easter candy... and I really decided I didn't want kids (and continued to contemplate selling them again).

    HOWEVER! I do know how you feel. My tubes are tied (because of the horrific pain thing) and I feel like my desire to have another baby came more from my inability to have another baby. I hope that you can have more kids, because honestly, despite all the negs I just ranted about, I love my kiddos and would love to have more (if I could obtain them potty-trained). I hope the your OB-Gyn gives you good news and that you get prego quickly!

    Sorry for the rant!

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Brandos

    Good luck.

    I really hope the test results come back good and that all the plumbing issues are resolved.

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterK

    Whatever happens, I wish you joy and contentment. Good luck Girl!

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Dental Maven

    I just gave you a little something, something on my blog.

    It involves a Zombie Chicken and I hope you like it.

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterK

    My husband and I have been going back and forth about this too and still can't agree. If faced with your situation, I would have gone through the same emotions and would have done the same thing. I hope all of this works out. Keep us updated, as I'm sure you will. I'll be thinking of you and hoping it all works out OK.

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJonny's Mommy

    I hope that it is for a good reason, because I have the PCOS problem. It is not a good thing. Please keep us all updated

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

    Good luck Keely.

    Hopefully in your case, you'll have the same luck with #2 that we did. "Hey, what do you think about a #2?" "Huh. Could be fun." Two weeks later...I swear to God you LOOKED at me & I got pregnant again.

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara

    Wishing you all the best and a simple road to baby number two.

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

    The logical side of me knows that we made the right decision not to have any more children. I know it was the best decision for us and we're lucky to have two healthy daughters.

    But even now, at 42, I still find it hard to reconcile my brain with my uterus who occasionally shouts OH MY GOD, I WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER BABY because it's on an emotional roller coaster ride known as perimenopause.

    I hate that ride.

    I hope everything works out for you!

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCreative Junkie

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! I love babies. Especially when they're somebody elses.;)

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSammanthia


    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWicked Step Mom

    Awesome! I hope the tests come back fine and the baby-making goes very smoothly! I think the perfect indicator for having another baby (or not) are your feelings about not being ABLE to have another one. I know this will work out for you!

    And thanks so much for visiting my blog!

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

    You would be surprised at how much stress can do to a body. I stress myself out of my cycles, sometimes. And hormones, too, can be brought on, with hot flashes, by stress/blood pressure.

    I just gave birth to my 6th child in September, and this is our last for so many reasons. It is so hard imagining there never being anymore, though. I know how you feel there, I'm still struggling with it, even though it's best. I don't think you're done yet, I have a good feeling all will be fine, and there will be a wee one in your future :)

    Good luck on the baby front. Keep us posted.

    April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

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