Now that I read this it looks like I'm single-handedly stimulating the economy: Random Tuesday Thoughts
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 2:22AM 
Well, hola, kidlets. Thanks for stopping by. Can I get you anything? Beer? Wine? 4-day-old muffins?
Random Tuesday Thoughts?
So after whining mightily yesterday about how I am perfectly at peace with my weight and I'm just in it to be the fittest little Keely I can be, I weighed myself at the gym this morning (what? I'm still curious) and found I had lost a pound. One that I hadn't lost before. OF COURSE.
I swear, ever since having a kid, my body is just out to fuck with me. Imagine what would happen if I had another baby? Like, the entire left half of my body would collapse or something. And then re-inflate for no apparent reason. Just to fuck with me.
I should get shoulder blade implants or pierce my forehead to teach it a lesson.
I bought this pair of jeans a while ago. They're black jeans with an 80s-style wash on them, so they kind of have that grey look? I had qualms about looking like a throwback but my friend Fashionista reassured me that they're hip. Again. I mean, there's a reason she's called Fashionista, I should probably just trust her.
But now I can't wear them without feeling like everybody's looking at me and thinking I haven't updated my wardrobe in 20 years. (Which is totally unfair, it's been updated as recently as 1999). I feel like I should display my butt prominently so those judgemental assholes can see that the jeans are Sevens and therefore beyond reproach.
Except that would involve actually showing people my butt so I'll just continue to feel like I crawled out of a thrift store. And like an asshole for assuming that trendy labels would make me look hip.
I'm not hip, folks. In case you missed that.
I find it interesting that some of the designer jeans, like 7 For All Mankind and Citizens of Humanity, have these names that imply inclusion but pricetags that don't.
Well, okay, there's just those two. But still, it's like you're not allowed to be a part of the jeaned human race unless you can afford to drop $300 on a pair of jeans.
Well, if you're me, $150, because I refuse to buy them unless they're on sale. So my theory is kind of falling apart here.
Fine, they're Jeans of All HumanityKind.
I think I just made up a new label.
That last bit was almost a whole blog post on it's own. My Random Thoughts are getting big ideas for themselves.
Knock it off, you little bastards, I OWN YOU. Know your place.
I lost my cel phone last week. Despite my complete disorganization and general disregard for material possessions (mine OR anybody else's), that thing served me faithfully for almost 3 years. So it was time. I bought an LG Voyager, which is kind of like the iPhone with the touchy-feely screen, except you can use it even when you have deadfinger. So far I like it, I haven't butt-dialed anybody and my fat fingers haven't accidentally rung up Taiwan. In celebration I downloaded the Indiana Jones theme song for my ringtone.
Except when FoN calls. Then it's the Darth Vader song. Make of that what you will.
I am a little disappointed in the available apps. Which is NONE. But that might just be my carrier.
You know, when I hear 'app' I still think "appetizer". Why yes, I'd LOVE to download some nachos to my phone!
This is why I'm not allowed to rule the world. I would spent too many resources in the area of cheese research.
I'll just preside benevolently over my little corner of the bloggieverse, here at Random Tuesday Thoughts. We can all rule together.
We rule!
Ahem. Anyway, if you'd like to play, grab the button, write a random post, and leave your link with Mr. Linky so we can all check you out! I promise not to spend TOO much time ogling your butt!
Reader Comments (64)
I loved your thoughts on the new phone. We've been trying to research phones for our move back to the US. Geesh! That crap has gotten expensive! I think hubby going to have make do with fake iPhone. I however will still get my blackberry, because I'd die without it.
Love your ring tones too. Darth Vader. Wonder if they make that for blackberry...
you ARE insane. :-)
..
.ero
totally not understanding why "designer" jeans cost so much. Do they last you the rest of your life? Or fall apart in about the same amount of time as Levi's?
I love randon tuesday thoughts. It is my favorite of all bloggy games.
I'm glad you rule over your little corner of the blogoverse so well (I wonder how many corners it has?).
And I'm impressed with Seven jeans. The coolest ones I sport are from the gap (which just isn't that cool).
I look forward to Tuesday ONLY because I get to come here and read your random thoughts. You NEVER disappoint me
Forget the weekends, I'm livin' for Tuesday's now!
I finally got rid of my totally unattractive mommy jeans, and am wearing jeans with a little bit of form to them.
I eat way too much cheese. I should probably join HASAY, but I don't exercise. I know I should, but I don't!
I generally buy my jeans at Costco...what's your Fashionista friend gonna say about that huh? Well, sometimes I'll snag a pair at Marshalls but one leg is usually shorter than the other so I only can wear those when I'm pms'ing.
You get to talk to FoN on the phone? Neat! I'm a bit jealous as I do adore stalking her!
So totally going to DL the Darth Vader song for when my mom calls me! Love it! Thanks Keely...first read of the day with enough giggles to get me through til my next cup of coffee!
Ooh, designer jeans! What are those? Seriously, I haven't owned a pair of those in this century. I'm so hopelessy out of fashin. I keep hoping I'll get ambushed by "What Not to Wear". I'm thinking I should lose my cell phone so I can get a new one. I've had it forever and replaced the battery and it still doesn't hold a charge.
Happy Random Tuesday!
My 7 yr old daughter doesn't like her grey washed out looking jeans either. Mmmm, cheese!!!
I gave up my cell phone two days before Christmas last year. It was tough for the first few weeks.
Man, I would love a pair of designer jeans...
from what I hear, they fit like a DREAM...I haven't had a pair of jeans fit me well in like, well FOREVER.
One of my good friends used to have the song "Mother" as her moms ringtone..lmao..
Happy RTT!!!
I've been thinking about getting the LG Voyager, but I've been waffling between that and a Blackberry. Then I just eat a waffle.
I'm glad you rule your little corner of the bloggieverse, because I enjoy visiting this corner and you make a damn fine leader. ;)
Happy RTT! :)
Downloading nachos to your phone, now there's a service I'd sign up for. You've got my vote for ruler of the bloggieverse.
What's wrong with spending time doing cheese research?
Now, after your rant about your body screwing with you, I am terrified of having a kid. My body screws with me now, just for fun. Imagine the horrors it would put me through if I had a kid.
John once told me he refused to pay so much for a pair of jeans because they would invariably be subjected to his gas and he would feel guilty for basically farting on money. I fell in love with him a little more that day.
Ha! I think you're tragically hip (funny.) I love my 7s, too, and they are getting increasingly tight, increasingly showing off my butt.
Sounds like a great new toy (the phone).. jealous! I want all those cool new app's as well...both the food AND the applications.
now i want nachos. thanks.
My hubby has a Voyager. Apparently the screen lock doesn't stay locked, and he not only butt dials me, it scrolls through the stupid menu and we get charged @#*%^! $3.00 every time it accidently lands and goes to the "Get It Now" app.
Grumble.
I have to laugh!!! because I told you about Dad losing his Cellphone and it getting run over and then you mention "deadfinger" well my dad almost cut his whole index finger off in October. It's not bendable. I guess it's so coincidental you've got to laugh or you'll cry for the sadness of it all.
I have a pair of jeans in a similar color and no matter what I put with them it just looks wrong.
I think my body is fucking with me too! I'd lost about twenty pounds, then regained some (thanks prednisone!) but what I've regained is seriously all back fat! I hate back fat!
Congrats on the pound, and even more on going to the gym!
I love my LG Voyager. Sure, it doesn't have any cool Apps but it is a step up from what I had before.
Can I be the one of the tasters for the cheese research program you are developing? I have a deep and abiding love of all things cheese.
can i just say as a fellow unmom i love this freakin blog, so glad i found you in some roundabout way from entrecard!!
Keely you rawk Woman.
You always make me laugh.
And I promise I won't judge you for wearing acid-washed jeans. *smile*
And thanks for cluing me in to the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse.
It's all I can think about (and blog about too).
Sigh.
But YOU still rawk.
LOL
Keely, have I told you how much you make me laugh when I read your posts!! Esp these random thoughts!! I literally laughed so hard outloud over the "my body is out to fuck with me" since having a kid that I actually snorted. So true...you're not the only one!
at least the scale went down on you. after i announced to the entire blogging universe that i've lost 51 pounds since having my baby (i weighed myself less than 4 days ago), the scale conspired against me this morning and told me i gained 25 pounds. in 4 days. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?