Now that I read this it looks like I'm single-handedly stimulating the economy: Random Tuesday Thoughts


Well, hola, kidlets. Thanks for stopping by. Can I get you anything? Beer? Wine? 4-day-old muffins?

Random Tuesday Thoughts?

So after whining mightily yesterday about how I am perfectly at peace with my weight and I'm just in it to be the fittest little Keely I can be, I weighed myself at the gym this morning (what? I'm still curious) and found I had lost a pound. One that I hadn't lost before. OF COURSE.

I swear, ever since having a kid, my body is just out to fuck with me. Imagine what would happen if I had another baby? Like, the entire left half of my body would collapse or something. And then re-inflate for no apparent reason. Just to fuck with me.

I should get shoulder blade implants or pierce my forehead to teach it a lesson.

I bought this pair of jeans a while ago. They're black jeans with an 80s-style wash on them, so they kind of have that grey look? I had qualms about looking like a throwback but my friend Fashionista reassured me that they're hip. Again. I mean, there's a reason she's called Fashionista, I should probably just trust her.

But now I can't wear them without feeling like everybody's looking at me and thinking I haven't updated my wardrobe in 20 years. (Which is totally unfair, it's been updated as recently as 1999). I feel like I should display my butt prominently so those judgemental assholes can see that the jeans are Sevens and therefore beyond reproach.

Except that would involve actually showing people my butt so I'll just continue to feel like I crawled out of a thrift store. And like an asshole for assuming that trendy labels would make me look hip.

I'm not hip, folks. In case you missed that.

I find it interesting that some of the designer jeans, like 7 For All Mankind and Citizens of Humanity, have these names that imply inclusion but pricetags that don't.

Well, okay, there's just those two. But still, it's like you're not allowed to be a part of the jeaned human race unless you can afford to drop $300 on a pair of jeans.

Well, if you're me, $150, because I refuse to buy them unless they're on sale. So my theory is kind of falling apart here.

Fine, they're Jeans of All HumanityKind.

I think I just made up a new label.

That last bit was almost a whole blog post on it's own. My Random Thoughts are getting big ideas for themselves.

Knock it off, you little bastards, I OWN YOU. Know your place.

I lost my cel phone last week. Despite my complete disorganization and general disregard for material possessions (mine OR anybody else's), that thing served me faithfully for almost 3 years. So it was time. I bought an LG Voyager, which is kind of like the iPhone with the touchy-feely screen, except you can use it even when you have deadfinger. So far I like it, I haven't butt-dialed anybody and my fat fingers haven't accidentally rung up Taiwan. In celebration I downloaded the Indiana Jones theme song for my ringtone.

Except when FoN calls. Then it's the Darth Vader song. Make of that what you will.

I am a little disappointed in the available apps. Which is NONE. But that might just be my carrier.

You know, when I hear 'app' I still think "appetizer". Why yes, I'd LOVE to download some nachos to my phone!

This is why I'm not allowed to rule the world. I would spent too many resources in the area of cheese research.

I'll just preside benevolently over my little corner of the bloggieverse, here at Random Tuesday Thoughts. We can all rule together.

We rule!

Ahem. Anyway, if you'd like to play, grab the button, write a random post, and leave your link with Mr. Linky so we can all check you out! I promise not to spend TOO much time ogling your butt!