Pixels are out to get me
Sunday, March 15, 2009 at 3:26PM Okay, so I'm not very good at this whole starvation dieting thing. I'm still using Weight Watchers as a guide, but I keep falling off the wagon. You should see the bruises on my ass.
But the bacon diet must be working for me, because this week I lost another pound. It's slow, but I'm getting there, I swear.
I have to give SOME credit to my new personal trainer. Her name is Maya, and she lives in my TV.
I don't know what she does when I don't have the Wii turned on. My guess is she works out and thinks up evil plans for world domination through aerobics routines with an excessive amount of lunges and squats.
You know, like REAL personal trainers do.
I kind of liked her in the beginning, because her workouts seemed pretty easy, and when hubby saw how easy they were he figured he'd build his own profile. He found them kind of difficult, which made me feel just the teensiest bit smug.
Until Maya ramped it up, and handed me my ass on a platter in 30 minutes flat.
Bitch.
Anyway, I guess I'll keep meeting with her, because the price is right and I can feel like I actually DID something on those days I can't get to the gym. Plus, I have a bit of OCD when it comes to video games and now I'm going to unlock every last one of those workout locations and lame-ass musical selections if it fucking kills me.
Which it might. At the end of last session, Maya cheerily announced that the next workout would be my "fitness evaluation".
Wait, what? Nobody told me there was going to be a TEST.
Reader Comments (34)
That's great!
Loved the post.
ahahahaha... I love that you can tell Maya to "Go to hell." You know what would also be especially awesome? If you could occasionally revamp Maya's image so that, suddenly, even Maya comes under the attack of thunder thighs and a gut. Because, how do you know she's always working out when you turn off the TV, huh? Maybe she's kickin' her aerobicized legs up and stuffing her face with Doritos and ice cream. It could happen. And wouldn't you feel good if supposedly invincible Maya suddenly had to shed some arm flab too?
:)
OMG, I'd have the worse case of test anxiety.
Recent blog post: http://michele-dogslife.blogspot.com/2009/03/thursday-recipe.html">Thursday Recipe
Oh, I think I know what Maya's doing in your TV when you're not looking...and beware of that damn fitness test! Maya's gonna show up all in leather for that one!
Recent blog post: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/lUkK/~3/REyEcDs1IsM/introducing-macflosser.html">Introducing: The MacFlosser!
My trainer does not look like Maya. What are you using on the Wii?
And I am sharing this lovely award I got. Ssince you have a super nifty comment system that lets me post a picture, you actually get to see it. Cause I have no clue in hell how to post a link in a comment.
I used to have this amount of OCD for my DDR but we are no longer together as a working out relationship. I miss excerising
Recent blog post: http://kyootycenter.blogspot.com/2009/03/things-you-notice-while-sittinglaying.html">Things you notice while sitting/laying, doing nothing
She looks like the same trainer I had on my PS2 when I was doing Yourself Fitness. She always struck me as kind of smug, unfortunately I didn't have the option of telling her to go to hell, otherwise I would have. Oh yes, I surely would have. Congrats on the pound.
Recent blog post: http://outnumberedtwotoone.today.com/2009/03/13/f-is-for-frosting/">F is for Frosting
Yesterday I spent the day at my cousin's house. She just got a Wii. I have never played. We golfed, tennised, baseballed, skied, tightroped, balanced, boxed sooooooooooooo much stuff.
Now I can't feel anything below my waist. I hope Maya lightens up on you soon
Recent blog post: http://soggy-doggy-bloggy.blogspot.com/2009/03/reader-participation-sunday_15.html">Reader Participation Sunday
The true test will be whether you go back to Maya after she basically warned you. Good for a pound!
Recent blog post: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SpritesKeeper/~3/XPw-38tv8q4/accustomed.html">Accustomed
Wow.
This makes me want a Wii now.
Recent blog post: http://interstitial-life.blogspot.com/2009/03/selling-spouses.html">Selling Spouses
Hey, nice going on the pound! A friend of mine just got a wii fit and named her trainer 'wiibooty' in hopes that that is what she will end up with. I should really get one of those.....
Recent blog post: http://kidsanddaiquiris.blogspot.com/2009/03/receptionist-angst.html">Receptionist Angst
Maya looks mean. I guess that could be good. Congrats on the pound! I want a Wii, but the hubs says I have to finish my dissertation first. Wah!
Recent blog post: http://www.suburbanmatron.com/2009/03/i-should-have-liveblogged-that.html">I Should've Liveblogged That Children's Party
I wanna know why my Wii trainer doesn't look like that?! What ARE you playing with? We need to work out together...Thin Mints are the devil...
Recent blog post: http://www.nottoosticky.com/2009/03/here-we-gowheeeee.html">Here we go....wheeeee!!
Uh, pretty sure my Wii trainer doesn't look like this or give me the option to tell her to go to hell. Maybe if I had that option, mine would get more use than the occasional use of the scale to shame me into being embarrassed that I don't drag it out of the closet more often.
Recent blog post: http://bearandroo.blogspot.com/2009/03/not-at-all.html">Not at all...
Maya is the trainer for the "My Fitness Coach" game. Which just proves my suspicion that nobody clicks on links ;)
Also, the screenshot MAY have been digitally altered. Maybe. Maya doesn't REALLY give you the option to tell her to go to hell.
Recent blog post: http://www.theunmom.com/2009/03/pixels-are-out-to-get-me.html">Pixels are out to get me
Wait, there's a bacon diet? And it worked?
I've seen other reviews about the My Fitness Coach thingy... do you think it's worth the buy? I think the Wii Fit should come with a built in fitness coach, no?
Good work on the exercise and I hope you unlock your workouts. I swear, every time the Wii Fit tells me it's unlocked something, I get pissed off since it means that there are more methods of torture available to me.
Recent blog post: http://halfasgoodasyou.com/?p=4184">Spin Cycle: Survival Of The Furriest
ummmm. bacon. I love bacon. This is one diet I might enjoy!
Recent blog post: http://emtnester.blogspot.com/2009/03/did-girl-scout-cookies-get-smaller-or.html">Did Girl Scout Cookies Get Smaller or Have I Gotten Larger?
And to think, I wanted a Wii fit... Now, I am not so sure.
P.S. I am glad I am not the only one that thinks personal trainers on hell-bent on world domination through aerobics!
Recent blog post: http://lifeandtimesofawickedstepmom.wordpress.com/2009/03/16/sometimes-your-the-bat-and-sometimes-your-the-ball/">Sometimes your the bat and sometimes your the ball
Bacon is heaven.
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OK, so I've been thinking about getting a new digital SLR camera, but perhaps I need to re-think things a bit and go out and buy my very own Maya! You let me know how she works out. And if WW doesn't work out for me, I'm totally going on the bacon diet.
Recent blog post: http://viewfromtheshortbus.blogspot.com/2009/03/fat-girls-club-i-will-survive.html">Fat Girls Club - I Will Survive
I think I may have to invest in a Wii fit! Keep it up woman!
Recent blog post: http://mssalti.blogspot.com/2009/03/sexy-bitch-thinks-im-sexy.html">A Sexy Bitch Thinks I'm Sexy
Hm, I think I need a trainer - $29 sounds right up my alley. MMM, bacon, love it on anything!!
Recent blog post: http://morganrnl.blogspot.com/2009/03/banister-blessing.html">Banister Blessing
Is My Fitness Coach for Wii Fit? I liked Wii Fit but couldn't get the hang of it. I kept skiing right into the wall and I don't do that in real life (I fall down).
Recent blog post: http://nychit.blogspot.com/2009/03/hunny-im-home.html">Hunny, I'm Home
god i love bacon. that is all.
Recent blog post: http://oscarelli.blogspot.com/2009/03/miles-three-months.html">Miles: Three Months
okay, yeah um - I am now rethinking my urge to buy a Wii Fit