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    « Connoisseur du Jour | Main | "Ab of Steel" might be taken »

    Wine and body parts: Random Tuesday Thoughts


    It's that time again....I wonder how many of these things I've done? And if you added up all the random thoughts, would you get a story?

    Feelin' scatterbrained and random? Need to take a mental piss before you can write properly? Grab the button, write an incohesive post, and ta-da! We can take that "does not play well with others" status off of your report card.

    So, let's go!

    I've recently decided that Weight Watchers can suck it when it comes to my wine during blogging. I'm just not as clever without it. It keeps up my spirits. Really, wine is essential to my success as a blogger.

    Why yes, I can rationalize anything, why do you ask?

    So I posted yesterday about my one over-developed ab (My keg, if you will, yes, thank you for that visual, Beth, remind me to repay you somehow) and how it's making life on that side of my body uncomfortable, but I didn't mention the various other self-diagnoses I ran through before arriving at that conclusion. Like, oh I don't know, a potentially enlarged liver. (See above). Or a lump on my lung or possibly some kind of pancreas injury.

    That last one I kind of had mixed feelings about, because several many years ago in a fit of drunken hilarity (at least to us), a bunch of us all put five bucks into a pot, which was to be paid out to the first of us to require pancreatic surgery. And I totally had that $40 spent.

    Yes, I have always been this demented, why do you ask?

    Is it just me, or does "unoaked" shiraz taste like, well, someone shoved a bunch of grapes into an aluminum can to rot?

    Hubby is off work all week because he needed a vacation. I could totally get into this "house husband" thing. So far he's cleaned the garage (um, no)
    put up the drapes (wait, not quite)
    done the dishes ( uh...)
    finished the requirements to get our house energy efficient (okay, THAT one might even earn us money
    swept up dog hair (in his defense, there's a LOT of it)
    gotten up with the toddler so I could sleep in
    ...napped on the couch and fed the toddler ice cream.

    Wait. WHY does anybody have a house husband, again?

    Apparently now it can't be a Tuesday, or even a day ending in -day, without me mentioning zombies, because people keep sending me links like this.

    Which? Totally practical for when the time comes and all, but, maybe not so much with a toddler around.

    Also, I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but ZOMBIES FREAK ME THE FUCK OUT. Stop making me think about them!

    Despite all my talking about zombies here, exactly ONE google search containing the word 'zombie' has lured someone in. Yet there are all these sites and links about zombies that people are perfectly happy to send me. Which makes me conclude with scientific certainty that all zombie sites and campaigns are popularized VIRALLY.

    Wait. Zombies...viral. Viral zombies. Zombies could be spread by a virus.

    Crap. They don't even have to EXIST, and they're going to take over the internet.

    Is there some kind of additional ingredient to "unoaked" shiraz that I'm not informed on?

    This photo of my son in the bath is residing happily on Photobucket, but a photo of his naked butt got deleted. They must have an automatic "butt recognition" program or something? Who designs such software, and how is their job satisfaction? Or is it just one guy going through all the uploaded pics looking for ass crack?

    Because I might need a new job. I suck at programming, but I'm good with butts.

    So someone better start paying me to blog before I am sucked into the seedy world of photobucket porn. Til then, keep it random...grab the button, blather away (with or without wine, it's not mandatory, though I recommend it), and leave your link with Mr. Linky. Try to visit a few of the other participants, because everybody on this list RAWKS!

    Happy Tuesday, ya'll!

    Reader Comments (67)

    Ass crack monitor . . . your future begins now!

    Recent blog post:">Review: Every Sunrise

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMama Zen

    I work for Photobucket and I can confirm that yes, we have an automatic "butt recognition" program. We call it the ACA, or Ass Cheek Alert.

    I'm kidding, obviously. But the zombies aren't...mwaahahaha.

    Recent blog post:">I thought I handled the butt segway quite nicely, though this post is a total pity party

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrogmama

    HILARIOUS!!! thanks for the laugh as always!!

    Recent blog post:">Random Tuesday Thoughts - where's my sanity?

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBassAckwards Mom

    Dude, you have fifty people spewing randomness today. You rock!

    Recent blog post:">Random Tuesday Thoughts: Back Off Ladies, He’s Taken

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCasey

    You are awesome wealth of zombie knowledge. Because of you I am so prepared for a zombie invasion. :)

    Recent blog post:">The seed has sprung

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeli

    This Blog is the Bomb! Is it still cool to say that?

    Recent blog post:">Random Tuesday Thoughts

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDelia

    Zombies. Yikes. Thanks for the awesome dream material. And thanks for stopping by today.

    Recent blog post:">Random Tuesday Thoughts

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara

    I reeeeally don't like zombies either. I take it you've seen the re-make of Dawn of the Dead? Or maybe you haven't. If not, I recommend keeping things that way. It was horrific.

    Recent blog post:">It's Tuesday, it's my 150th post, what can be more exciting than that? Wait, I can think of something...

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

    You just made my Tuesday happier...ass crack monitor. Love it.

    Recent blog post:">Babble

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteranymommy

    Should the zombies ever take you they should hire you for PR!

    Recent blog post:">It's that time again!

    March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterArtSnark

    but too much wine is bad for you.

    Recent blog post:">The TV that blogging bought

    March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaul U

    Not only do I not know why anybody has a house husband, I don't even know why anyone has a husband period. :p

    Recent blog post:">Keeping the Faith

    March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjeweledrabbit

    Not only do I not know why anyone has a househusband, I don't even know why anyone has a husband period. :p

    Recent blog post:">Keeping the Faith

    March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjeweledrabbit

    oooh, bad house husband! but snaps for feeding the toddler ice cream. bet he's loving that.

    Recent blog post:">The F-Word

    March 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

    YOU, my dear, are a HOOT! So glad i found your Blog ~ Hilarious & LOL and all that!

    Recent blog post:">Did you know? ~ MARCH is Women's History Month!

    March 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOLLIE MCKAY'S

    This is such a good idea! I'll be back to participate in this Meme on Tuesdays! Thanks!

    Recent blog post:">Go Green Everyday Not Just on Saint Patrick's Day: Make Your Own Cleaning Products

    March 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindi ~ Moomettesgram

    hehehe I enjoy blogging, but I LOVE me a glass of wine...I NEVER thought to actually do both TOGETHER.. hmmm I may be a better blogger with less stress on the brain.. lol.. BTW.. Photobucket cannot have an auto but recognition program, it may confuse butt crack with butt head, crack head, etc... and delete perfectly useless photos... hehehehe Hapy Tuesday..

    February 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa C.

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