Wine and body parts: Random Tuesday Thoughts


It's that time again....I wonder how many of these things I've done? And if you added up all the random thoughts, would you get a story?

Feelin' scatterbrained and random? Need to take a mental piss before you can write properly? Grab the button, write an incohesive post, and ta-da! We can take that "does not play well with others" status off of your report card.

So, let's go!

I've recently decided that Weight Watchers can suck it when it comes to my wine during blogging. I'm just not as clever without it. It keeps up my spirits. Really, wine is essential to my success as a blogger.

Why yes, I can rationalize anything, why do you ask?

So I posted yesterday about my one over-developed ab (My keg, if you will, yes, thank you for that visual, Beth, remind me to repay you somehow) and how it's making life on that side of my body uncomfortable, but I didn't mention the various other self-diagnoses I ran through before arriving at that conclusion. Like, oh I don't know, a potentially enlarged liver. (See above). Or a lump on my lung or possibly some kind of pancreas injury.

That last one I kind of had mixed feelings about, because several many years ago in a fit of drunken hilarity (at least to us), a bunch of us all put five bucks into a pot, which was to be paid out to the first of us to require pancreatic surgery. And I totally had that $40 spent.

Yes, I have always been this demented, why do you ask?

Is it just me, or does "unoaked" shiraz taste like, well, someone shoved a bunch of grapes into an aluminum can to rot?

Hubby is off work all week because he needed a vacation. I could totally get into this "house husband" thing. So far he's cleaned the garage (um, no)
put up the drapes (wait, not quite)
done the dishes ( uh...)
finished the requirements to get our house energy efficient (okay, THAT one might even earn us money
swept up dog hair (in his defense, there's a LOT of it)
gotten up with the toddler so I could sleep in
...napped on the couch and fed the toddler ice cream.

Wait. WHY does anybody have a house husband, again?

Apparently now it can't be a Tuesday, or even a day ending in -day, without me mentioning zombies, because people keep sending me links like this.

Which? Totally practical for when the time comes and all, but, maybe not so much with a toddler around.

Also, I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but ZOMBIES FREAK ME THE FUCK OUT. Stop making me think about them!

Despite all my talking about zombies here, exactly ONE google search containing the word 'zombie' has lured someone in. Yet there are all these sites and links about zombies that people are perfectly happy to send me. Which makes me conclude with scientific certainty that all zombie sites and campaigns are popularized VIRALLY.

Wait. Zombies...viral. Viral zombies. Zombies could be spread by a virus.

Crap. They don't even have to EXIST, and they're going to take over the internet.

Is there some kind of additional ingredient to "unoaked" shiraz that I'm not informed on?

This photo of my son in the bath is residing happily on Photobucket, but a photo of his naked butt got deleted. They must have an automatic "butt recognition" program or something? Who designs such software, and how is their job satisfaction? Or is it just one guy going through all the uploaded pics looking for ass crack?

Because I might need a new job. I suck at programming, but I'm good with butts.

So someone better start paying me to blog before I am sucked into the seedy world of photobucket porn. Til then, keep it random...grab the button, blather away (with or without wine, it's not mandatory, though I recommend it), and leave your link with Mr. Linky. Try to visit a few of the other participants, because everybody on this list RAWKS!

Happy Tuesday, ya'll!