And...here we go!
1. It seems like it should be easier to hit someone with a shotgun.
2. Wipe your feet when you're done digging your own grave, please?
3. If I thought you wouldn't try to crawl away, I'd take the duct tape off!
4. Formaldehyde is what I think of most when I think of you. Really, they need to market a scentless variety.
5. To me, Valentine's Day means cleaning your shackles without being asked.
6. The loving light in your eyes gives me strength. But I should probably stop leaving my flashlight there.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a quiet night on the couch with you, tomorrow my plans include scrubbing embalming fluid out of the couch, and Sunday, I want to go antiquing!
(What? That last one was too much, wasn't it?)
(This is the part where hubby rolls his eyes at me. And I hand them back and tell him to stop teasing the dog.)
(Ha! Just kidding, honey. You can do whatever you want with your eyes. Happy Valentine's Day!)