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    « I'm brain dead so I'm just rehashing the Interwebs for you: Random Tuesday Thoughts | Main | Michael Bolton makes ME cry too, but not in the same way »

    Oops, it's that time of the month...

    No, not THAT time of the month. (That's still all frakked up, thanks for asking.) It's the time of the month where Casey over at Half As Good As You pesters us into logging our fitness & weight loss progress for club HASAY.

    Here's where I'm at: the exercises and stretches that Trainer Lady is getting me to do are helping my effed-up back immensely. She's given me the green light to get back to working out, provided I stretch and roll all my muscles out on the Pool Noodle of Pain foam roller and make sure everything is in alignment and pray thricely to the Nautilus Gods and for the luvvapete, take it slow.

    But I haven't. I'm doing the strength exercises she's given me, and that's about the extent of it. My back still feels...kind of twitchy. Like, Bobcat Goldwhaite twitchy. I'm terrified I'm going to eff it up again, just when I'm really starting to enjoy the novelty of having free movement and being able to bend down and pick something up without suddenly morphing into an 85-year-old.

    Also, I'm lazy. I may have mentioned that. Once or twice.

    But I feel awful and I'm tired all the time. The other day, it was pouring rain and my car was desperately in need of gas, because I wait until the gas light comes on like I'm a broke-ass 16 years old. My debit card wasn't working because they sent out these new 'chip' cards and naturally, I tossed the envelope on the kitchen table and forgot all about it and then the old one expired and yes, I know, sometimes I just fucking fail at life, okay? It's hard to be a grown-up.

    Anyway. I had forty bucks in my wallet so I put forty in the tank, and went to pay, and the girl in her plexiglass booth said, "Um, you still owe me ten dollars."

    Because in addition to failing at life, I also can't count. I only had THIRTY dollars. Awesome. Luckily for me, I was two blocks from home, so I jogged home through the freezing rain and then back again with my new stupid 'chip' card and paid her while she smirked.

    The whole point of that little narrative is that after that short, teeny-tiny really, run, my legs were burning, and I was gasping. Hard to believe that 2 months ago I was running 4 kilometres on a regular basis.

    Later that same day, as I sat on the couch with my muffin-top spilling over my jeans, encased in a bright orange shirt, my son toddled up and poked it. "Ball!" he exclaimed.

    Okay, kid. I get the point.

    Reader Comments (17)

    Wow, I can't believe you ran two miles in the rain. That's like something from an action movie.

    I hurt my back last year and kept reinjuring it so I know how shitty that feels. I don't blame you for taking it slow. Now get to the gym, fatty. Just kidding. My muffin top could kick your muffin top's ass.

    ;) Thanks for the update.

    October 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCasey

    Don't feel bad - he called the couch, television and lamp 'ball' last time he was here.

    October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFoN

    Aww! Don't feel bad Keely! I couldn't have even run that far!! I also act like a broke 16 year old when it comes to gas. Be proud of the fact you can totally kick my ass running!

    October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

    You tricked me! I was looking forward to a post about you menstral cycle and we ended up talking about exercise??? LMAO!!!

    October 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterotin

    I feel the lazy too. Couldn't you have just given her back ten dollars in gas?

    Two blocks in the rain, that's impressive albeit kind of humiliating. I would've been so pissed.

    At least the muffin top is a source of pleasure for one person in the house?

    October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrsbear

    I forgot earlier!! You won an award!" rel="nofollow">Look at the award I gave you!!!

    October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

    That's a cheery little Saturday tale. lol. It IS hard being an adult.

    October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrogs in my formula

    you ran?

    2 miles?

    in the rain?

    i need a nap just from thinking about that *expires*

    October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDivine Chaos

    If I run two miles in the rain, there better be a chocolate chip banana cake waiting for me at the end of that trek.

    October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSprite's Keeper

    Oy. Maybe he was talking about your boobs...

    October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWoman with kids

    I can't even run to my mailbox, let alone two blocks. I say that's a win.

    And, you should take that "ball" nuggets and stow it away for a good 18 years, then break it out when X needs a good dose of maternal guilt when he's in college and doesn't want to come home for the holidays.

    October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

    Why put gas in the tank if it isn't empty?

    October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

    UnMom, you make my muffin top wiggle as I chortle at your funniness. "Bob Goldwhaite twitchy"indeed!

    It's incredible how fast one can get out of shape, isn't it? I can hardly walk a block with a slight uphill incline without panting. But a week of treadmill walking ought to set that to rest. Will check back with you next month - hope I'm right, and that your back continues to improve.

    Look at the bright side - at least you got to the gas tank before you ran out and had to walk a REALLY long distance to get a gas can filled!

    October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFantastic Forrest

    Those chip cards bring out the lazy in me too. I really didn't want to deal with it but finally forced myself, after several cups of coffee and several days of procrastination/angst.

    I still don't like it that much.

    October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLidian

    Well uh now what? I think you're doing fine if you thought about running nad did it? really? I'd be calling from their payphone (no cell) and getting someone to bring me cash or bail me out? I'm glad your back is healing.

    October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkyooty

    You can do EET!! I found that changing a few things in my diet helped my energy, but I am also one of those former cheerleader freaks that everyone wants to slap they are so happy. No drugs included, scary.

    October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Fish aka Two Fish

    omg- this was the funniest thing!!!

    It truly is hard being a grown-up.

    Sometimes I look down at my stomach and think BALL. BIG BALL. Sad, but true.

    I agree with others---good for you for even going hom eon your feet. I would have just sat and argued with them that they can't take the gas back out. Or left my child there as collateral. :)

    October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaylen

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