Does this dream mean I need a new uterus, or a new butt? Or possibly that I should be a little more clear when giving directions?
Friday, October 16, 2009 at 6:28AM In my dream the other night, my friend wanted me to be with her while they performed a surgical procedure. In this procedure, a centipede was inserted into her open abdomen. This was a miraculous centipede, which, like maggots feasting on only dead flesh, would only eat the rotten parts of her uterus and then crawl out (presumably to take a nap).
I told her I would be with her, and hold her hand, but I couldn't watch because they were going to perform the same procedure on me and I didn't want to know what was going on down there.
Her centipede performed admirably. When they performed it on ME, they removed the surgical drapes to reveal that not only had the centipede eaten my entire uterus, but all the way clear through to my ass.
So then, obviously, I needed a new ass. They weren't going to replace my plumbing, but asked me what kind of rear end I wanted. I said, with typical wishy-washiness, "Oh, y'know, an ass. They're all the same."
Naturally I ended up with saggy mom-butt, rather than the glorious firm supermodel hiney I had envisioned.
I have no idea what this dream meant, or why I'm even sharing it with you, because now you're all picturing me with no ass.
Seriously, stop it.
Reader Comments (21)
i shall leave no comment other than "lofuckingl" because you threatened with raptors.
i'm sorry. i can't stop picturing you without an ass!
=)
OMG!!! I don't know what to say. That was completly unexpected.
This beats the ass off my rabid squirrel dream.
Uh, ooookay. I know this should weird me out, but my wife has dreams like this and my response is for her to switch therapists.
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I'm thinking maybe you accidentally ingested some kind of chemicals at that Metallica concert.
LOL How does some even try and respond to that! It gave me a good laugh! That is what I needed today so thank you again!
This cracked me up!
Next time ASK for the supermodel ass!
And you're right, I can't get the picture out of my head (-:
If someone asked ME what kind of new butt I wanted, I would know exactly how to answer. Nice going.
The first line when you said that you had a friend who wanted you to be with her, I must confess,my mind went to a different place, but then the surgery and the bugs, and away went my girl on girl fantasy!!! LMAO!
This? Is your brain on too much Metallica.
I need a new ass, perhaps I'll ask about this procedure the next time I'm at the doctor!
I think it means you have to stop watching CSI before bedtime...
Clearly your subconscious is trying to tell you that you need to speak up for what you really want: butt implants.
I've just read this before going to sleep & now I'm scared!
oh how nice it is to know that i'm not the only one that has completely screwed up dreams lol
how many times did you check your ass in the mirror in the morning .. just to make sure it was there? :p
The only time I had truly strange dreams was when I was pregnant. Could that be the problem?
This dream means that you must stop taking illegal substances. (kidding) Freaky.
I love how they asked you what kind of ass you wanted...but didn't bother to fix the more important things like organs.
I have no idea what that means.
Freak.
You can have half my ass if you need it. I've got enough for both of us at this point.
Hahaha, this is some crazy shit. ilurveet.