A few observations on a Metallica concert

1. I am WAY too old for "standing room" tickets.

2. Hubby is apparently also way too old to hoist me onto his shoulders so I can flash the band. Hmph.

3. Fire and lasers are awesome, and should probably be included in every live music show. Giant lighting rigs shaped like coffins are also cool, but probably not terribly appropriate for, say, Alicia Keys.

4. Want me to have fun? Drop hundreds of beach balls from the ceiling.

5. Metallica attracts fans in all shapes, sizes, colors, and ages. Also, the children of all of those people.

6. There are always assholes who think the "no smoking" signs don't apply to them.

7. Earplugs are your friend, and I probably should have remembered them. Really, really should have remembered them.

8. I'm sorry, did you say something?

9. If you somehow manage to get up on stage, expect to be immediately and violently tackled by 400 pounds of Security personnel. You should probably also expect to be frogmarched off the stage by 800 pounds of Security, while the band giggles over the photographers' shots of you getting your eye sockets crushed into the metal staging.

10. ...Pretty much anybody can be taught to bellow the refrain to "Seek and Destroy".