Michael Bolton makes ME cry too, but not in the same way
Thursday, October 1, 2009 at 5:04AM So in the interest of moving this little "see a ghost" project along, I fired off an email to the local paranormal society. Their website said they were looking for a sketch artist, which, hey! I could probably do. I mean, all the ghosts would come out looking like superheroes, but whatevs.
They sent me an application form, and said a few reassuring things about their organization, and that I'd be working with two very talented psychics in the group. It all sounded pretty above-board and down-to-earth. And yet I was hesitant to send the form back.
I floated this latest development past hubby, just in case he had some previously unmentioned issues with the paranormal. When I got to the part about the 'talented' psychics, he exclaimed, "Omigod! As long as you're not working with Brownie Girl!".
And in that sentence, he solidified exactly what my hesitance was based on.
I met Brownie Girl when I was in university. I was majoring in Visual Arts, so I hung out all the time with Artists who did things like cast multiple replicas of their own labia. But this girl took the fucking fruitcake. She was very young, and extremely angsty, and seemed to spend a lot of time crying. She talked in a lispy baby voice, crafted hideously-painted cats out of clay and listened to the 'lite' music station at top volume in the communal studio space.
She also claimed to read auras. Now, I really do believe that human beings produce some kind of energy field, and that probably there are some people who can see them. I just didn't believe that SHE could see them.
She told me that my aura was "stressed out". I told her it would get better if she left the room.
She cried. I know, I'm an asshat, but I couldn't help it. I said it as kindly as possible, but I was trying to live my life Drama Free at that point, and she just set my teeth on edge. Anyway, the right Michael Bolton song after 3pm on a Tuesday could make her cry too, so I'm not taking too much ownership of the black hat.
I graduated and presumably she stayed on to graduate as well, and I never thought about her again other than to hope that she gained some maturity or perspective or control over her tear ducts.
Several years later, a friend of mine had a Hallowe'en party. His wife had moved here to be with him, and while she's a lovely and sensible person, she has what some people would consider rather eclectic and alternative interests. In an effort to make some new friends, she'd joined up with a local Wiccan group, most of whom were also lovely and sensible people. Most.
You can see where this is going, right? She invited the Wiccan group to the party, and in the attending numbers was Brownie Girl. Imagine my surprise.
I didn't talk to her much, other than to give her a polite nod (and hope that it didn't make her cry). Later, though, when there were fewer people and I could actually hear her rather loud conversations monologues, I realized that she was just as flighty, awkwardly exuberant, and bizarre. I escaped to the front porch, where my friend joined me and rolled his eyes.
"Uh, how did you befriend HER?" I inquired. He explained his wife's connection, and added, "She and her friend there spent half an hour earlier talking to a Brownie on top of my fridge."
"A brownie?" I perked up. Hey, I like dessert.
"No, a BROWNIE. Like a small faery-type creature. They think there's one living on my fridge. They were having a whole conversation."
I died laughing. And went back into the house to rescue hubby, whom I'd abandoned in a sea of Faery-Finding Whack Jobs.
Anyway. While I may not encounter my erstwhile studio-mate in particular, people with that brand of...enthusiasm still tend to get on my nerves. Signing up for this type of society is probably going to get me back in touch with the froot loop factor.
And I'd hate to be known as the girl who stabbed a "talented psychic" in the ear with a No. 2 pencil.
Reader Comments (22)
run away...... Back to that second language thing?
Probably going to get you back in touch with the froot loop factor?
Hon, I'd say that's a certainty.
Interesting...I've never heard of a Brownie before. They must be a branch of fairies that originate in the Candy Cane Forest.
Hmmmm. Maybe you should consider revising your list.
Why do I have the feeling that this whole thing is going to make for some interesting stories? Much more interesting than learing another language.
On another subject... velociraptors. I still think they'd be pretty scary.
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/brainiac/2009/09/velociraptor_le.html
Your journey of self-discovery is taking some, um, interesting twists. I'm actually starting to get a little worried for you. Although, selfishly, I'm dying to hear what's going to happen.
(In defense of Chuck, not all ghostbusters are freaks. Just 9 out of 10).
It will make for good blog material.
I'm so cracking up right now. I think there is a Brownie Girl in every Pagan/Wiccan gathering/group in existence.
I've never heard of a brownie, but now I want to see one.
I hope you send the form back--I'm sure there will be some awesome stories that come out of this. :)
I thought Brownies were baby Girl Scouts.
Yeah. Take the job.
Think of all the great posts you'll be able to give us!
I'm having an excellent give away! Please join in the fun of promoting ME!!!
btw
I went to a Michael Bolton concert and all his songs sound alike. I thought he was singing the same song over and over!
LMAO! That's killer! I believe in a lot of that stuff too, but really really chill... The over-enthusiastic freak me out..
Just like religious extremism freaks me out, no matter what religion it comes from!
I really want to party with you if these are the kinds of people you meet up with.
Why are you spelling fairy faery?
oh, i so love that you made her cry.
Sorry, every time you mention brownie, I want chocolate. She may be psychic, but you're enabling. :-)
Amen sister, Amen.
p.s make sure you sharpen the 2B.
okay, now i can see where you would want to go all nutso on her but honestly, a BROWNIE? WTF? How could they corrupt the name of such a pleasant treat?
I was temporarily into watching Wife Swap on Lifetime .. and they had a family that was all into faeries. They talked to the trees ... and asked the vegetables in the garden if they were ready to come in the house and be eaten before they brought them in.
Maybe they were friends of Brownie girl ;)
I have to admit, the thought of her chatting up fudgy baked goods had me intrigued. Talking to fairies, that just set my eyeballs rolling up theatrically. I don't think anyone would even question a pencil attack, it's a given.
So you're using brownie girl as an excuse to bow out? Think of all the blog fodder you'll get out of the experience. Do it.
I'd just like to say that not all Wiccans are like that. lol
Reminds me of the nutter butters I lived with back in my college days in Ann Arbor.
In reality, I think your "friends" may have entered a fantasy life after reading too many Charlene Harris books (The Sookie Stackhouse novels that True Blood is based on). Besides vampires, werewolves and shifters the last books include faeries.