Body Snatchers and the Impending Apocalypse: Random Tuesday Thoughts
Tuesday, January 6, 2009 at 6:01AM 
I can't believe it's been a week. How time flies when you're stuck in a small town. Doing nothing. At all.
Anyway...
I looked into the vegetable crisper this afternoon and saw what I thought was an orange. It looked a little dilapidated. Then I realized it was actually a tomato of the orange-skinned variety. You know, the kind I grew in my garden this summer?
Yeah. That's how long it's been sitting there. I didn't want to touch it in case it had become sentient and touching it would compromise its structural integrity, releasing the spores of a new, mind-controlling, life form into the air. So, naturally, I made hubby do it.
He seems fine so far. I'll check the back of his neck for any tell-tale Body Snatcher marks later.
Tonight the dog rejected her dinner. I'm pretty sure that's like, the third sign of the impending apocalypse or something. Right after I write this post, I'm going to stockpile canned food and guns.
The guns might be hard to come by, but you don't ignore signs like that.
I don't think I'm going to spend much time on Twitter anymore. It's kind of fun, but the other night something happened that is still bothering me. Mostly because I don't know how to feel about it. Someone tweeted something about their child that I personally interpreted as a very frustrated mother venting (on the internet..shouting into the wind...where it BELONGS), but someone else became concerned with it. That someone else retweeted it to their (considerably more) followers, and someone took it upon themselves to call the authorities. The tired and frustrated mother ended up with a police visit.
I don't know about your area, but even the most baseless allegation here can cause miles of red tape and investigations. Obviously the person was just concerned for the child, and I get that. But you don't KNOW anybody over the internet, MUCH LESS in the 165 characters that Twitter allots you. At least if I write something here in the blog that inspires someone to call the authorities on me, it'd be in context - y'know?
Also, with the phishing scam I'm terrified someone will hack my account and tell the world I secretly pick my nose.
Not that I DO that, of course. It would all be lies. I don't know what made me think of that, it was just off the top of my nose. Er, my head! Off the top of my head.
No, I don't know why I sound nasal. Look, you don't know me, okay??
This whole "no snacking" thing SUCKS. I caught myself with a handful of Goldfish halfway to my mouth at least twice today (the crackers, not the actual fish. But, yum, SUSHI....).
I think hubby wants sex. So, gotta go.
...out.
HA!
Just kidding. I should really check him for Tomato Body Snatcher marks, though, because sex with a tentacled alien sounds...well, kind of kinky, but y'know, unfaithful too. Even if it IS his body.
Is this one of those days I should have stopped while I was ahead?
Probably. Too late! Your turn! Grab the button, write a random post, and leave a comment so I can link you up!
Reader Comments (19)
I think I'd be more concerned with the dog then the husband. Husbands have a candy coating that resists nasty stuff pretty well.
Yikes, I feel sooo bad for that mom!
And no snacking? I couldn't make it through the day! Do Goldfish really count? I don't think so.
I shouldn't have twittered about killing my boss, huh?
Crap!
Pretty sure I've visited you before, but can't remember because I have holes in my brain left over from pregnancy. Will be coming back often. Very funny stuff.
Of course you knew that.
Sorry about the huz...damn aliens.
Do sentient tomatoes go for the neck? I didn't know that. It wouldn't be unfaithful it you weren't sure. Just check after ;)
I'm in! Don't forget Bleach, every time they threaten a storm in the South, everyone buys bleach.
I was trying to think about what I Tweeted about my child, but then realized the Po Po never came to my home, so I'm assuming I missed those Tweets.
I accidentally Tweeted my username and password the other day. Yep. So now I changed every PW everywhere and I can't remember any of them, so I'm always afraid I was hacked when in fact I just boned myself.
Don't hate the Tweet, block the Tweeter.
FUNNY!!!
Loved how you described how "Quick" men can be sometimes!
Ok, I have to mark down Tuesday for next week. I excel in random thoughts. I never heard about Twitter thing. Funny, I twittered about smuggling heroin and weapons grade plutonium across the border while I was actually there and didn't get arrested. Now that I think about it, that might not have been a good idea.
Pretty funny... thanks for a chuckle, and a good warning about venting on the net.
I can't believe the whole Twitter thing. That's insane. I hope you and your H had a good time ;)
Here are my random thoughts...
http://michellesamom.blogspot.com/2009/01/random-tuesday-thoughts.html
(not very inspired this week, but I promise to do better next time)
You're not going to tell us who the venter and tattler are, are you? Cha. I hate it when people are more mature than I am. LOL
I'm in on the randomness this week.
OMG people are such jerks..call the cops on something like that??
cripes...
I should be locked up w/ said key thrown away by now..lol..if you go by THAT theory...
and if that tomato infected your hubby, let me know..my fridge is a science experiment in general, it could explain ALOT around here...
http://myrandomwisdom.blogspot.com/2009/01/tight-fittin-jeans-aka-random-tuesday.html
Ha, invasion sex. Like all sex isn't an invasion.
I can't believe some asshole reported that chick. I'm surprised it hasn't happened to me either, I'm always talking about the ways I'm going to get back at my kids for not letting me sleep.
Nose picking, eh? Did Xander teach you that or vice versa?
Randomly hilariously funny! ;)
What a moron calling the cops on a Tweeter vent... Modern day Mrs. Kravitz? ;) Idiots...that poor venting mom!
Too funny about making your hubby get rid of the sentient tomato - I would have done the same thing! ;)
I KNEW Twitter was evil. I just didn't know why. And um, your husband may have risked his life with the whole ancient tomato thing. I think you owe him a little pink clam to go with the sauce. (I don't really know what that means.)
OMG...had not heard about that twitter thing! Thats horrible!!
I found a few penicillin experiments in my fridge last week...hubs made me deal with it...sheesh.
I love your Random Tuesdays, btw, they always make me laugh!
I think gold fish do not exactly count - at least not the first handful.
Good luck with the dog, the guns and the boby snatchers.
Your dog refused dinner? Does she still have a pulse?
tomato body snatching marks! lol! :D
you make me laugh so hard... nose picker! :D lol! :D
you did kinda manage to disturb me with the alien sex thing... i still love yah though! :D lol!
what on earth were you feeding the dog, really....
I am joining next week.