The skinny, the poop: in other news...Random Tuesday Thoughts

randomtuesday we are again at Tuesday. How the hell did that happen? I swear I was JUST waking up from a nap on WEDNESDAY.

Wait, I don't get to nap anymore. That must have been somebody else.

So! Ya'll must know how this works by now, if not...check these out. Then grab that button, and randomize!

When I typed 'check THESE out' just then, I instinctively hoisted my boobs. What a ho.

I think I used all my randomness on my post yesterday. Which was fairly chronological, but random, nonetheless. Hm. Perhaps I need another glass of wine.

Can someone please explain to me why my toddler can ingest practically any food he finds on the floor sees, and suffer no ill effects, but the second the grocery store is out of 'his' formula and I have to substitute, it results in the most toxic, planet-poisoning, nauseating diarrhea ever? What the fuck is IN that stuff??

Some comments on my post yesterday in regards to orange picking (and sucky jobs in general) made me start thinking...why is it that the most horrible stuff always sounds the coolest? Like terrible jobs sound really awesome to other people. And drinking so much you vomit a lung for some reason impresses them. Exercising until you can barely walk up a flight of stairs is awe-inspiring. Seriously - do people just secretly want to hear about your suffering?

The exception to this, of course, is parenthood. People WANT to hear about the baby snuggles and the tender moments and the first time they say 'Mama' (instead of calling you 'Bob'). But we insist on regaling them with tales of sleep-deprivation, stretch marks, vomit, peeing involuntarily when you sneeze, and...diarrhea.

Hey, I never said I was any different.

Michele over at It's a dog's life has heard a rumour that the word 'news' is like crack to search engines. In case you were wondering about the title of this post. Which I'm pretty sure you weren't. Also, I'm guessing that combining it with the word 'poop' probably cancels out the effect.

Waiter, where's my drink??

I really need a personal waiter.

Why is it always the skinny girls that insist on offering weight loss advice? I mean, I guess they got skinny somehow. But can't they just fuck off and try not to snicker too loudly while I'm flailing around?

(Somewhere there's a skinny girl wondering, "Why are all the pudgy chicks such whiners?".)

Can anybody tell me What. The. Fuck. went on in 'Superman Beyond 3D'? No? Damn. I was hoping someone could explain it in small words.

All the windows in our house got replaced this week, which means they took the blinds down. So naturally now I want new ones. I should probably do that. Or at least stop grabbing my husbands ass in front of the very large kitchen window.

And with that, I'm off to grab someone's ass. Won't say whose! Feel like being random? Leave your link...