The skinny, the poop: in other news...Random Tuesday Thoughts
Monday, January 26, 2009 at 11:59PM 
Soooo....here we are again at Tuesday. How the hell did that happen? I swear I was JUST waking up from a nap on WEDNESDAY.
Wait, I don't get to nap anymore. That must have been somebody else.
So! Ya'll must know how this works by now, if not...check these out. Then grab that button, and randomize!
When I typed 'check THESE out' just then, I instinctively hoisted my boobs. What a ho.
I think I used all my randomness on my post yesterday. Which was fairly chronological, but random, nonetheless. Hm. Perhaps I need another glass of wine.
Can someone please explain to me why my toddler can ingest practically any food he
finds on the floorsees, and suffer no ill effects, but the second the grocery store is out of 'his' formula and I have to substitute, it results in the most toxic, planet-poisoning, nauseating diarrhea ever? What the fuck is IN that stuff??
Some comments on my post yesterday in regards to orange picking (and sucky jobs in general) made me start thinking...why is it that the most horrible stuff always sounds the coolest? Like terrible jobs sound really awesome to other people. And drinking so much you vomit a lung for some reason impresses them. Exercising until you can barely walk up a flight of stairs is awe-inspiring. Seriously - do people just secretly want to hear about your suffering?
The exception to this, of course, is parenthood. People WANT to hear about the baby snuggles and the tender moments and the first time they say 'Mama' (instead of calling you 'Bob'). But we insist on regaling them with tales of sleep-deprivation, stretch marks, vomit, peeing involuntarily when you sneeze, and...diarrhea.
Hey, I never said I was any different.
Michele over at It's a dog's life has heard a rumour that the word 'news' is like crack to search engines. In case you were wondering about the title of this post. Which I'm pretty sure you weren't. Also, I'm guessing that combining it with the word 'poop' probably cancels out the effect.
Waiter, where's my drink??
I really need a personal waiter.
Why is it always the skinny girls that insist on offering weight loss advice? I mean, I guess they got skinny somehow. But can't they just fuck off and try not to snicker too loudly while I'm flailing around?
(Somewhere there's a skinny girl wondering, "Why are all the pudgy chicks such whiners?".)
Can anybody tell me What. The. Fuck. went on in 'Superman Beyond 3D'? No? Damn. I was hoping someone could explain it in small words.
All the windows in our house got replaced this week, which means they took the blinds down. So naturally now I want new ones. I should probably do that. Or at least stop grabbing my husbands ass in front of the very large kitchen window.
And with that, I'm off to grab someone's ass. Won't say whose! Feel like being random? Leave your link...
Reader Comments (32)
Skinny girls suck. I've heard sperm is low in calories. Ba-da-dom.
I hate skinny girls. I love that you say fuck. If it were more socially acceptable I'd say it all. The. Time. As it is, I say it all the time. Just at home. When my husband is gone 'cause he gives me shit about it. And why do kids eat anything off the floor (or whatever) yet when you offer them a perfectly good "surprise casserole" and they turn their nose up at it? Brats.
I love Random Tuesdays. I don't publish until after midnight, my time, so I'll be back tomorrow morning to link.
Oh, and my three year old puked on me yesterday. It was touching.
How fun! I love randomness... ;) I finally participated this week...though Mr. Linky isn't cooperating!
Randomness rocks.
I'm in!
You should never stop grabbing your husband's ass. Do it in the grocery store. They like that. ;)
I love skinny girls. They make less of a dent in my car.
I slap my husband ass on a regular basis ;) and grab it..I have no boundaries..I will do it anywhere..he does have a mighty cute ass :)
It depends on the Skinny Chicks history..has she always been skinny? or was she pudgy/fat at some point..
I'll take advice from a formerly pudgy person...they have BTDT...but if you have always been skinny..please. don't tell me ANYTHING.
lol
not than I'm bitter...
Ps, I'm Down w/ RTT!!
Yay for random!
I enjoy grabbing the husband's ass in places that could embarrass him if people saw. Luckily, I'm a very stealthy ass-grabber, thankyouverymuch.
#1. Skinny girls definitely suck. (unless I lose a ton of weight and become one)
#2. ME! ME! Grab my ass please!
Gotta love Mr. Linky!
I hate skinny girls too. OK. Not all of them, but most of them.
And formula..have you not seen the reports on that stuff? the FDA only tells you what it wants to about what they let in that garbage. Ahem. Just saying.
What is with Amber saying she hates skinny girls? She looks like a bean-pole. Just sayin'
So.... I am kind of a skinny girl (but I have no boobs, am blind without contacts and still break out at age 29)...can I still read your blog?
I promise not to offer weight loss solutions. I might be dumb, but I'm not that dumb.
Tuesday...Tuesday...bababadababa..so good to me....
I hate skinny girls too!!! Bitches!!! Yada Yada,,,,you can eat whatever you want and not gain an ounce...fuck you!!!
THAT is the reason America's Funniest home video's was invented. People delight in other's suffering.
I've jumped on the bandwagon. Yay.
http://un-mom.blogspot.com/
::grabs Keely's ass::
Oh, and my thoughts are up ;)
Oh, daaamn! I had something else scheduled for today and missed out on the randomness. Sigh.
My take on the horrible stuff: suffering is okay, bodily functions are plain nas-tay. I'd soooo rather hear about how you passed out in an orange grove and your friend shoved fruit in your bra for everyone to gawk at instead of a story about ANYONE uncontrollably barfing, shitting or peeing. The gag reflex in me, I guess.
You sure did well with the randomness after thinking that you had used it all yesterday.
Skinny girls are bitches. I didn't appreciate my skinny self when I was and now I hate her. Bitch.
Not sure about the formula substitution but I've also seen the aftermath. Not pretty.
You are a ho. Stop lifting your boobs.
I think people like watching others suffer since it makes them feel better about their own shitty lives...
I think I'm one up on you... I grab my hubby's ass in public places.
My oldest sister grabs my A all the time -- she makes an especially flamboyant, boisterous grab in public. And then my cheeks get all red (both sets of cheeks).
Anyway... this is awesome, and your 100-item informative list from yesterday kept me wanting more super insights into Super Keely.
Also, I wanted you to know that I just heard an interview on NPR with Neil Gaiman. Admittedly, I've never read anything by him, but... I thought you might be interested?
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=99895923
Keely - Hi! I just posted my first Random Tuesday thoughts - but be gentle with me - I'm still trying to figure out how to add the damn button. Damn! Damn!
I think hearing about other people's suffering makes us feel better about our own. It's the reason people watch Maury Povich, so they can say "hey, at least I know who my baby daddy is."
I want to force feed skinny people lots of cheeseburgers, personally. And then possibly kick them in the shins. I was skinny once upon a time, but I ate like a linebacker so that made it okay.