So you bring me THIS??

While I'm doing mindless things like having sex walking with my son in the stroller, I like to let my Brain out to wander around. And hopefully dig up some good blog posts. Unfortunately, while searching for good produce in the Garden of Blog Posts, my Brain only seems to pick from the "If THIS happened, you could post THIS" patch. Like the shining nugget of "If you were caught blogging about work at work you could write this" and the juicy goodness of "If Xander slept through the night you could exclaim this". And the rich, drippy-with-irony post "If everybody died from a plague and there was nobody around to read it you could post this" post. And the slightly smelly, "If you were working for Pay Per Post and they asked you to review something totally inappropriate you could write this".

(Actually, it sounds like that last one is totally plausible, all I would have to do is sign up. Which I won't, because I'm lazy).

So I am a little frustrated with this output and I told my Brain so.

"Well that's what you pay me for." replied my Brain.

"I don't pay you. And I don't even think YOU could dream up a way that would work out."

"Figure of speech, dumbass. I'm supposed to be imaginative. I'm imagining."

"Yeah, but those don't work for me. I need something I can post today. Are there other bloggers in the Garden?"

"Of course, all the time. Some of them are gathering wool, for some reason."

"Oooohhh kay. Taking my lousy metaphor a little far."

"Sorry." apologized my Brain. Which is a fairly odd sensation.

"Well, could you just, y'know, club one over the head and take his post?"

"..."

"It's not really plagiarism if he hasn't properly harvested it, right? Just pick a good one."

"...do I even know you?"

Obviously not.