1991 came walking down the street towards me today. It was wearing tight denim cutoffs that were rolled up at the knees, a loose, half-tucked in T-shirt and black gladiator sandals. It had a stylish Matt & Nat handbag as though it were trying to convince people it was retro, not dated. Nobody was convinced.

I was going to say hello as it passed, but I was really drunk the last time I saw it.