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    « Does this make me weird? | Main | It sneaks up on you? »
    Tuesday
    Aug262008

    Be clear, dammit!

    I had a dream the other night that I was standing on the top of a waterfall, and I was supposed to jump. All my friends and family were there encouraging me, and I was totally nervous (which is not usually my style, I'm normally the first one signing up to fling myself out of a perfectly good airplane). I stood there, my toes curled over the edge, and they yelled encouragements from below. Finally I made the leap, and landed in deep water with a really strong current. I struggled to swim to shore, and my friends and family swam out to help me.

    This one seems pretty obvious. Right? Take The Plunge. Friends And Family Will Help.

    Right.

    Except, um, I don't know what the Plunge is. Seriously. I have no major upcoming challenges, no major stresses, nothing I have to make a risky decision about (which, itself, is kind of a problem. But I don't think that's what the dream was about. I wasn't, after all, going in search of waterfalls). So, what? WHAT? What is it I'm supposed to be all nervous about, exactly?

    The subconscious is stupid. Why can't it just send an email?

    From: keelyssubconscious@morpheus.com
    To: keely@zombienightmares.com

    Hey,
    So you're walking down a road. It's a red road, and you're with that guy you had a crush on in 7th grade. What was his name? Not my department. Anyway, you're heading into the bright sun and this neon blue butterfly cuts across your path.

    See, it's a parable. Get it? The road is red because of your desire, and the guy from 7th grade represents unrequited love, and the butterfly...no? Really? You don't get it?

    Fine.

    DO NOT WORRY IF IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR CHILD HATES YOU. HE DOESN'T.

    ALSO, YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS FINE.

    Is that more clear? Great.

    Just for that, I'm sending you another zombie nightmare.

    Regards,

    Your subconscious
    (Bob)

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