I'm not taunting the search engines, honest: Random Tuesday Thoughts


Woo hoo! It's Tuesday! Time to vomit my brain's contents dazzle you guys with some random mental wanderings! And here's what I'm thinking about today...

(Ugh. I just heard that last sentence in Elmo's voice. Guess what Keely is thinking about today? Committing suicide!).

My Warhammer witch elf is still pretty naked, but apparently somehow now her loincloth offers more protection. At least to the crotch area, I guess. She dies a lot. Apparently bad guys don't generally aim for the groin.

Today on the way home from work I saw a work truck with the business name "Mr. Fixy" on it. For some reason that made me giggle all the rest of the way home. Possibly it was the office egg nog, but they don't usually start spiking that until the 24th. Much.

Okay, seriously, people. I'm getting really tired of hearing everybody panicking about how the economy is going in the crapper and we should all stop spending money because we're going to be so screwed. You know what will send the economy into a downward spiral faster than anything? IF PEOPLE STOP SPENDING MONEY. So stop fear mongering, stop hoarding, and go spend more than you have on something you don't really need, already. It's Christmas, after all.

Also, I don't really want to have to reset the global economy with a world war.

Not that I would do the resetting. Although I just totally pictured myself as God, looking down at our fucked-up planet, shouting, "Don't make me come down there! For the luvva Me!".

I just pictured myself as GOD. It's a good thing I don't believe in hell, because I'm probably going to end up there. And then I'll be all, "Yeah, it seems a little warm, but I don't know why, because I refuse to believe in my surroundings".
Somehow I just went from bitching about the economy to a psychotic denial of my environment. You see what I did there?
No, me neither.

Do you think a lump in your labia could be cancer? I hope not. Because that would be a really fucking undignified way to die.

Yeah, I should totally rename these TMI Tuesdays.

I'm blogging to the soundtrack of my dog snoring, which sounds like 'whoopwhoopwhoopwhoop', and my son snoring, which is actually a whistle. They sound like cliches. Cute, heartwarming little cliches.

It is still effing cold here. Yay for global warming, screwing with our weather. It's hard to enjoy your holiday season when your car seats are frozen and hard as cement, your furnace is running 24-7, your dog can't go out for a pee without whining because her paws hurt so much, and stuff like this is going on.
(I love how they named the search dog in the headline. Because he's going to read the article, and be pissed that they didn't mention him by name?)

I just re-read this post and I'm totally dreading the google searches I get. All I needed to do was throw a dildo in there for good measure.


Want to play? (Er...the random thoughts game, NOT the dildo, you pervs). Grab a button, slap it up there, and leave me a comment or shoot me an email and I'll link you up!
Happy Random-mas!

And the extraordinarily festive and random for the week are:

1. Michele at It's a Dog's Life (Hey, it IS TMI Tuesdays!)

2. Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie (spitty, spitty!)

3. Kelly at Per Se (and her hussy child)

4. Michelle at Michelle's Blog (random rants, which is totally okay with me!)

5. Julie at Cool Mom Guide (she's lucky to be alive)