8 Laws My House Should Have, and 2 it has in spades
Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 7:34PM 8 Laws My Household SHOULD Have
1. All Dogs Everybody should perform if they want their dinner. Seriously - if you want to get fed, you'd better entertain me. Or dust something. Either way.
2. The world does not revolve around the kitchen table. By which I mean, there is no gravitational pull keeping dishes there. They can move the TWO FEET to the kitchen sink, especially when they're empty, since they're lighter.
3. Nobody should wake up before 8am, unless they want to, which is just silly, because nobody in this house wants to. Nobody above 4 feet tall, anyway.
4. The house should be kept warm enough to render unnecessary the usage of pants. Even for guests. Y'know, if that's how they roll.
5. All dogs should respect the napping hour(s), and shut their great drooling gob, if they know what's good for them.
6. All baking and cooking should surrender unto my will, and turn out well. Not turn out like big slimy turds. That are burnt.
7. Respect the sanctity of blogging. That means no small grimy fingers on the keyboard while I'm ty
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8. No discussing of politics, Heroclix, or inlaws prior to 2 3 cups of coffee. They make my head hurt.
And 2 Laws My House Has More Than Enough Of, Thankyouverymuch
1. Murphy's Law. Because you know that the minute the kidlet goes down for a much-needed nap, a delivery guy will show up, which will set the dog barking, which will wake the kid up, and then he won't nap for the rest of the day, which will make you tired and frazzled and you'll do things like spill your coffee on the computer and put the remote control in the fridge, EVERY SINGLE TIME. And you know that the second you get caught up on your laundry the washing machine will crap out, and hubby will produce an extra load of laundry from a friend of his who brought it over because his machine crapped out, and you'll go two weeks without laundry and be reduced to wearing old T-shirts that smell vaguely of a gym that's not even in business anymore, EVERY SINGLE TIME. It's like it's a Law or something.
2. Murphy's Toddlers Laws, especially "A child's favorite one day is never the favorite the next day", particularly when it comes to food.
Posted in participation with Listless Mondays at abdpbt. Check her out for more lists!
Reader Comments (10)
Great rules!!! Can I use them in my house too? :-)
Just checking in on the HASAY front. Hope your weekend was great!
Those f'ing UPS guys wake up my kid EVERY TIME. Well, them and the psycho dogs barking. Great rules, I need to implement them here.....especially the sleeping past 8.
So funny... because it's true.
I find white noise helps the whole dog barking thing. I put a really loud humidifier in Peanut's room (which helped her sleep because of the noise) and she doesn't wake up when/if the dog barks.
It's great.
Just letting you know that you were mentioned (again) on Ohana Mama during the Buzz Around the Blogosphere!
http://www.ohanamamablog.com/2008/11/ohana-mamas-monday-mom-buzz-around.html
I learned about the Random Thoughts Tuesday through Ohana Mama. I LOVE it and will be participating tomorrow. I could relate to your entire list except for the UPS guy. He always delivers my stuff to the crazy neighbor, who declines the package, then I have to go get it myself.
I am cracking up at number 4. I am totally with you, but that kind of heating gets expensive around here. Maybe it would work if everyone had a hat and Uggs?
Hello there, Un-Mom. You are awesome. I just "found" you (did you know you were lost?) via abdpbt.com, and you're cracking me up. And I'm not even a mom -- OR an un-mom!
ps) Isn't that Murphy guy a b*tch?
Funny, I think we have those two last ones as well...
Today we had the landscaping guy decide he needed to use a CHAINSAW right as I put the little one down for a nap.
Murphy, you SUCK!
I have a 7am rule in this house. But the shorties dont follow it.
Wish I could remember the book that begins by describing a dinner table rule that went something like this: Family gatherings were in complete unless someone could be coaxed into laughing so hard as to spray their milk.
That goes right along with my theory that kitchens and hotel rooms should be made entirely of waterproof furniture so they can be fire-hosed down after each use.