8 Laws My House Should Have, and 2 it has in spades

8 Laws My Household SHOULD Have

1. All Dogs Everybody should perform if they want their dinner. Seriously - if you want to get fed, you'd better entertain me. Or dust something. Either way.

2. The world does not revolve around the kitchen table. By which I mean, there is no gravitational pull keeping dishes there. They can move the TWO FEET to the kitchen sink, especially when they're empty, since they're lighter.

3. Nobody should wake up before 8am, unless they want to, which is just silly, because nobody in this house wants to. Nobody above 4 feet tall, anyway.

4. The house should be kept warm enough to render unnecessary the usage of pants. Even for guests. Y'know, if that's how they roll.

5. All dogs should respect the napping hour(s), and shut their great drooling gob, if they know what's good for them.

6. All baking and cooking should surrender unto my will, and turn out well. Not turn out like big slimy turds. That are burnt.

7. Respect the sanctity of blogging. That means no small grimy fingers on the keyboard while I'm ty
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8. No discussing of politics, Heroclix, or inlaws prior to 2 3 cups of coffee. They make my head hurt.

And 2 Laws My House Has More Than Enough Of, Thankyouverymuch

1. Murphy's Law. Because you know that the minute the kidlet goes down for a much-needed nap, a delivery guy will show up, which will set the dog barking, which will wake the kid up, and then he won't nap for the rest of the day, which will make you tired and frazzled and you'll do things like spill your coffee on the computer and put the remote control in the fridge, EVERY SINGLE TIME. And you know that the second you get caught up on your laundry the washing machine will crap out, and hubby will produce an extra load of laundry from a friend of his who brought it over because his machine crapped out, and you'll go two weeks without laundry and be reduced to wearing old T-shirts that smell vaguely of a gym that's not even in business anymore, EVERY SINGLE TIME. It's like it's a Law or something.

2. Murphy's Toddlers Laws, especially "A child's favorite one day is never the favorite the next day", particularly when it comes to food.

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