Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Things you shouldn't do when your girlfriend or boyfriend says "I love you" for the first time

1. Wait 3 days before saying it back, "just to fuck with them".

2. Say "I know."

3. Reply with, "Elephant Shoes, too".

4. If it's over the phone, don't use the excuse "Um, yeah....I'm in a room full of other guys?" to not say it back.

5. Say "That's nice!"

6. Start looking at your watch and checking your (fictional) pager nervously.

7. Jump straight to, "Great! I want 8 kids, how about you?"

8. Whine, "If you really loved me you'd give me head."



(It's entirely possible that I've been the recipient of all or most of those responses at some point. Maybe. Not from hubby, which is one of the many reasons why HE WINS).

(Posted at the implied request of Sprite's Keeper, in conjunction with this week's Spin Cycle)

43 people talked back :

kyooty said...

I waited 3 wks after Hubbie said it before I said it back. He said it after 3 days of knowing me so I said "I'm not going to throw that phrase around willy nilly" ugh!

Brandy said...

me and hubby made a knock knock joke out of it. mostly because we were 17 & 18 and SO mature!

Jan said...

I can agree with all of those. I've also been on the receiving end of those three words after one date, when I promptly said, "Well, it was nice knowing you" and put on my boogie shoes.

I think that guy's in jail for stalking now...

Mrsbear said...

Hahaha. #8 warrants a swift boot to the head. And #6 must have taken place some time in the early 90s, I'm guessing. Nice spin. ;)

Sprite's Keeper said...

Ha! Great list. I may or may not have been guilty of one of those items. May or may not, I contend!
You're linked!

Caitlin said...

Oy! That'd be rough!

*Just Jen* said...

I just LIVED this blog post!!! He told me two weeks ago and I waited a week to tell him back. YIKES! LOL

Bex said...

what about, "thank you."

bARE-eYED sUN said...

okay . . . our favorite is:

"give your love to someone else, i'll take what's left over."

:-)

uh, no? :-0

well,
uh, . . .uhm . . .

we thought it was cute. :-(

..
.ero

GreenJello said...

You forgot "ditto".

:)

ali said...

I absolutely replied "That's nice" to my ex the first time he said it to me! oops.

Michele said...

So would "yeah cool, hand me a beer while your up" not work?

Not that I would have said that because I only drink wine or pink drinks.

nothingfancy1 said...

LOL - these cracked me up!

"Thank you" is just about the worst, though. Seriously.

The Mother said...

Hubby proposed to me over the phone in the ER. No way was I gonna get all mushy surrounded by testosterone laden surgeons.

So I might understand #4.

Sammanthia said...

I'm embarrassed to admit I'm guilty of number one. Needless to say, he broke up with me shortly after that.;)

Wicked Step Mom said...

9. Say "olive Juice, too" in response.

Camille said...

My husband was so shocked (he didn't realised how fond of him I'd become) he just said, "thank you." It was several minutes before I said it back. I was mortified, but it worked out in the end.

Ane Fallarme said...

I have had number 2 said to me.. not by hubby, which is why HE wins too! :-D

beth said...

too funny. my boys are standing next to me and one of them just said "this is a boys website. can you get us a shirt for it? it's cool."

Kat said...

I pretended I didn't hear one of my boyfriends when he said it....yeah....cause I was an ass in HS.

Cara said...

"Uhm, are you sure?" is not an appropriate response either...as I once found out :)

GroovyGirl said...

your posting really made me smile and bring back memories of dating...LONG time ago (20 years)! thks for the fun

Casey said...

Elephant shoes, I'll have to try that the next time one of my stalkers tell me they love me.

Otter Thomas said...

Great list. I already have plans to say Elephant shoes. It may not be the first I love you but it should be fun anyway.

Jenni said...

the first time my husband said it to me i replied, "don't say it unless you mean it." it was like month before he said it again. but we were in high school and I didn't want to eff around with "love this, love that" if it wasn't for realsies.

Tamis said...

I have one more for you...
I had a boyfriend tell me he loved me. I paused and said "thanks". That did not go over real well!

Now that I think back, I wonder if I was bitchier then? Maybe not!

MommaD said...

thanks for the reminder of not so fun times! glad my hubby was a winner too! have an award for you on my blog http://tinyurl.com/olbamdatb

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

LOL. Good advice!

Suzi said...

Nice! Brought back memories...however he was the first to say it and I said "Thank You"

Jenni Jiggety said...

But it is TOTALLY okay to say any of those things once you are married for over 5 years.

Frogs in my formula said...

Is it ok to say "olive juice"? Cause that's what I've been using lately. I mean, what I HEAR some people have been using.

robin said...

Oh gawd. That last one is just priceless.
Think it will still work for me after all these years of marriage? :)

anymommy said...

I think 'that's nice' is the most painful, but "I want 8 kids' is the most likely to send someone screaming in the other direction. Awesome list.

Kindlelynn said...

yea...Hubs said, "I love you"... and I said..."but you didn't bring me the drink i asked for." in which, he turned around, brought me the drink where I hastily downed it and then returned the. "I love you." Sometimes...things are just THAT much better with booze.

Cameron said...

You forgot the most important thing to NOT say, "Well I hate your guts and I never wanna see you again!!!" That's a no-no.

Elisa said...

No way. People actually say shit like that?

Middle Aged Woman said...

My own personal sin? 9. Reply, "Ditto."

CDB said...

Wow, didn't see that last one coming! (COUGH, no pun there). Ugh, I'm making myself sick.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Love the list - I may or may not have been the recipient (or distributor) of some of those... ;)

Lynn @ human, being said...

I totally did # 1 to my fiance.

I'm still paying for it. With blowjobs.

Leslie said...

Too funny!! I was in the Army Reserves for 8 years and when I would talk to my hubby during drill weekends I would never say it before hanging up because I would get a ton of shit from the guys. My husband is one of the guys who rarely says it and practically never needs to hear it so it was cool with him.

ArtSnark said...

LOL - Why is the true stuff always the funniest

Heather said...

LOL!!! #8 is priceless....think I'll try that tonight...kids are gone...it "could" work!!!