Woo! It's Tuesday again! I think it is, anyway. These holiday thingies are starting to mess with my sense of time, which has never been that great, to be honest.
We're heading out to hubby's hometown to spend a belated Xmas with the inlaws, so posting may be sparse. Or dense, depending on how badly I need to escape and just how much I'm self-medicating. So if you're going to play today, be sure to leave your linky in your comment because I can't guarantee when I'll be able to link you up. Or how sober I will be at the time. I could get it wrong entirely and send unsuspecting blog readers off to look at goat porn.
So, ready for Ye Olde Randome Tuesdae? Follow along!
I'm blogging and drinking as usual and my red wine got accidentally chilled (the bottle was sitting by a window). I'm ashamed to admit I kind of like it. I know, how classy can you get? Okay, well, I drink it out of a coffee cup in the first place, so I didn't have too far to fall.
This post got interrupted earlier when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a tiny movement above my shoulder. It was a rather large spider, descending from the ceiling, all eight legs - the four that are justifiable and the four that are totally creepy and unnecessary - splayed wide. So I did what any rational adult would do, I shrieked like a little girl and just about broke my own neck falling out of the chair backwards. Then I grabbed the closest two books and smacked that little bugger between them.
They happened to be graphic novels, so now there are spider brains all over my Buffy Omnibus 1 & 2. See? She's still slaying icky things.
Anyway, haha on you Mr. Dead Spider! You think you're so fast with that completely gratuitous amount of limbs, but NOBODY is fast when they're hanging from the ceiling by their ass.
The thing is, this is not an isolated incident. It's like the fourth time that I've been sitting here minding my own business, and a spider has pulled a Mission Impossible right beside me. So I either have an inordinate amount of arachnids dangling from my ceiling on a regular basis, or THEY KNOW. Somehow they know that it will freak me out, and they're willing to risk their lives just to fuck with me.
Inordinate Amount of Arachnids would be a great name for a band.
Dear Makers of Advil Pediatric Drops,
Would it fucking kill you to make your bottle CLEAR? So that at 3am, when I'm half asleep and juggling a 30-lb turkey toddler who's trying to set a new world record for how many teeth he can cut at once as well as trying to maneuver your stupid-ass-design syringe thingie into his mouth, it will take me less than 20 minutes to realize the bottle is empty? Thank you.
Also, while I have you on the line, your product is NOT LIQUID GOLD. Seriously. 8 fucking dollars for 24 ml? C'mon.
I'd switch to Tylenol, but apparently my child has inherited my bizarre physiology that sneers at acetemetophin products and can only be subdued by ibuprofen.
Upcoming small-town inlaw-visiting hell. Really lookin' forward to it. Can you tell? We haven't even gotten there yet and there's already drama, because we've elected to stay with hubby's sister instead of his parents. The reason we're doing this - the one we're giving them anyway - is we're toting along the dog and they don't like her. But apparently they're offended anyway. The kicker is that hubby's sister and parents live FOUR HOUSES APART. What difference does it make where we sleep? Are they planning to creep on my son while we're dozing?
Ugh...actually, they probably are.
They don't want to see us anyway, just the grandson. I'd totally put him on a bus and ship him there, but, y'know, he's 15 months old. He may not understand why his seatmates smell like urine.
Also I might miss him. And they might not give him back.
Anyway now I have to go wipe spider bits off my comics before the stain sets in, and I've probably horrified you enough. Grab the button, randomize, and leave a comment with your link! Happy freakin' Tuesday!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
If a spider falls into my wine, I'll never be the same again: Random Tuesday Thoughts
this drunken rambling by Keely at 6:38 AM
This post is possibly about: hubby , random tuesday thoughts
11 people talked back :
I just wanted to let you know that I wrote a review about The Un-Mom on my site today. I love your perspective & wanted to share it with my readers. I also grabbed one of your buttons to place on my blog (not even TOUCHING that line). Thanks for the laughs.
http://champagneliving.blogspot.com
Looks like the holidays will last forever for the both of us! You should get some blog posts out of your visit with the inlaws.
Here's my random thoughts:
http://lemondroppie.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-was-so-proud-of-lily-today.html#links
NOOOOO, not Buffy. With spider bits? Ugh.
Have a great trip (OK, let's hope you make it through). My in-laws never care to see me either. I sometimes feel like I could fall off the planet and they might not notice (except when they were at my house expecting to be fed and nothing arrived).
Gawd, how much do you love inlaws?
Oh, and the spiders? THEY KNOW.
Chilled red wine? What's wrong with that?, she wonders while sittin' on the porch in an old wooden rocking chair, cut-off shotgun in her lap, guzzling merlot straight from the box.
That solid plastic shit is evil. The only time you figure it out is in the middle of the night.
Same goes for caramel Bailey's. Bastards! I can't see through this damn bottle!
I HATE it when I can't see through the bottle...
Tuesday kind of snuck up on me too... though lately it's my mom who is driving me up the wall, in laws have been great.
As for the wine, I know it's a complete faux-pas but I LOVE my red wine chilled. I can't help it, I do. Hopefully the wine police will not revoke my red wine privileges...
Can't wait to read all about your trip. Here are my random thoughts for the week:
http://michellesamom.blogspot.com/2008/12/random-tuesday-thoughts_30.html
dude. goat porn..lmao..that made me laugh!
Stay heavily drunk, um self medicated, during your IL visit.
did I ever mention how glad I am we don't speak to my MIL or SIL??
heh...it sounds wrong, but really..its not...
and you go Spider Slayer ;)
I have a personal space clause w/ spiders..they can live as long as they are NOT within my person space..
and I like my red wine chilled too. and cheap. like Lambrusco cheap..it fizzes when you open the bottle..lol..and it is a screw top...if the wine Nazi's havent found me by now, I presume I am safe..
heres mine!
http://myrandomwisdom.blogspot.com/2008/12/random-tuesday-thoughts_30.html
I agree, the spiders are onto you. I would have liked to see you fall out of the chair, it's a maneuver I've done once or twice myself.
I wonder if Tylenol doesn't work on my kids either since they're still bitchy after taking it. Hmmm. Hope the trip is going well.
I use walmarts brand of ibruphrophen (sp? and do not really care)just so I can see the amount still in the bottle.
Um, I love cold red wine but hide that fact from most.....
Sometimes I actually like my wine chilled, I guess it depends on what kind... :D
I hate spiders! one time I found one on Lucas, I think it bit him, it was a small one and I killed it with my bare hands, eww, but I had to do something! I'm not sure if it did bite him, I'm just waiting to see if he's gonna get all spiderman on me... LOL! :D
My In Laws visited us because I was the host for this year's holiday celebrations, only cause my MIL wasn't here, they left already and how I wish they took all their mess with them. I'm left with a dozen things to clean up, I hate it.
Post a Comment